Dear,
Time always repeats itself.... You see there is nothing under the sun..... The bad ones r still bad and the good ones always rott.
I've gotten to the point where I've stopped carrying faith and caring.
Why should I trust you? Why??? Everytime I've heard that phrase it means that your hurt will be worse than the one who didn't ask.... Everytime I've heard I'm different it's just been a new face. I'm not going to change always means just not right now....
Call me doubt but at what point r u supposeed to believe the thing that has always ended as a lie is the truth
Showing posts with label secret. Show all posts
Showing posts with label secret. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
LETTERS FROM THE SOL: FRUSTRATION
DEAR
I'M WRITING YOU HOPING THAT YOU'LL GIVE ME SOME SORTA STRENGTH.... I'M FEELIN SO MANY THINGS GO WRONG RIGHT NOW AND I'M NOT SEEING WHEN AND WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO BE GETTING BETTER.
LAST NIGHT I HAD TO MAKE A CALL AT MIDNIGHT CUZ THE PAIN HURT SO MUCH..... AND IT RETURNED AS SOON AS I HUNG UP THE PHONE. SO I JUST CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP AGAIN.
TRYNNA GET BETTER IS SOO HARD WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF.... NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THEY JUST THINK THAT YOU'RE BEING LAME.
I BROKE AND WROTE him AND EXPLAINED MYSELF... NOT LIKE I HAD TO BUT I DID BECAUSE I NEEDED TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT TALKING TO HIM
. THE FUNNY THING IS THAT SEEING THAT HE STILL DOESN'T EVEN CARE MADE ME EVEN MORE SURE....
. THE FUNNY THING IS THAT SEEING THAT HE STILL DOESN'T EVEN CARE MADE ME EVEN MORE SURE....IM WONDERING ABOUT q AND I DON'T LIKE THAT.... wow IS GETTING ON MY NERVES BECAUSE HE'S SO MUCH LIKE idiot, secret IS JUST A LOST CAUSE....
MY carrie IS IN PAIN, MY mighty mouse IS TOO BUSY FOR ME, AND MY BOYS ARE JUST WRAPPED UP IN THEIR GIRLS... I FEEL LIKE MY OTHER GIRLS WON'T UNDERSTAND.
I JUST NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER A SIGN THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.
Monday, December 1, 2008
MISADVENTURES: IN DATING (oops)
SOO WEN I WAS AT MY MUSIC VIDEO SHOOT I RECIEVED A TEXT FROM opps A GUY I DATED ABOUT 18 MONTHS OR SO AGO. TELLING ME HOW PISSED OFF HE WAS AT THE FACT I HAD FLAKED AGAIN ON MEETING UP WITH HIM FRIDAY NIGHT. (RUNWAY OR BOY RUNWAY OR BOY UMMMMMM RUNWAY) I TOLD HIM THAT WE COULD MEET DOWNTOWN FOR DINNER WEN I WAS FINISHED WITH MY SHOOT.
SO OF COURSE I PICKED MY FAVORITE PLACE ASTI TO HEAD FOR DINNER. LUCKILY I BEAT HIM AND SNAGGED A GREAT TABLE OUTSIDE SO I COULD LOOK ACROSS THE STREET AND PEOPLE WATCHED WHILE I WAITED ( THIS DOUBLED AS A GREAT DISTRACTION FOR THE GAY AND BITCHASS PARTS OF DINNER).
**REALLY QUICKLY I JUST WANT TO TAKE THIS TO ONCE AGAIN COMMEND AND BRAGG ABOUT THE EXCELLENT SERVICE OF THIS PLACE!!!! NOT ONLY DID THE WHOLE STAFF MAKE SURE I WAS COMFORTABLE WHILE I WAITED THEY GAVE ME GREAT SERVICE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT AND EVEN CAME IN TO RESCUE ME A COUPLE TIMES FROM SOME OF THE MANY LAME MOMENTS OF DINNER*** I LOVE THE WHOLE STAFF AT ASTI!!!****
SO JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO ORDER AND SAY FUCK HIM, (opps WAS ALREADY LIKE 30 MINUTES LATE AND I WAS COLD AND HUNGRY) HE WALKED UP LOOKING NOT HOT BUT DECENT.... LIKE SOME GUY YOU COULD TAKE HOME AND MOM WOULD BE RELEAVED HE WASN'T A THUG OR SOMEHTING (PERSONALLY MY MOM WOULDA PROBABLY JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID UGH OR SOMETHING). OFF TOP DUDE LOOKS AT THE MENU AND HIS EYES ALMOST CAME OUT
o: " SO YOU'RE BALLIN NOW"
A:" NOT EVEN"
AT THIS POINT IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT I WAS GOING TO BE PAYING FOR DINNER TONIGHT. WHICH WAS FINE BECAUSE I REALLY WASN'T THAT HUNGRY AFTER SEEING HIS FACE HONESTLY.
THE OWNER AND ABOUT THREE WAITERS CHECKED ON US THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT. IT WAS QUITE FUNNY ACTUALLY... YOU COULD TELL THAT THEY DIDND'T APPROVE OF MY CHOICE IN COMPANY FOR THE EVENING.
opps AND I TALKED ABOUT HIS LITTLE BEDROOM MISHAP FROM BEFORE AND ABOUT THE VARIOUS CHANGES THAT WE BOTH HAD MADE IN OUR RESPECTIVE LIVES. IT AMAZED ME HOW POMPOUS HE WAS.... IT WAS DISGUSTING. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH GOING ON A HUMANITARIN TRIP WITH THE NAVY CHANGED HIS OUTLOOK ON LIFE HELPING THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN HIMSELF BUT THEN HE JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT HOW HE PAID FOR THIS AND THAT AND HOW HE UPGRADED FROM A BENZ TO A BEAMER AND MIGHT GET A CHARGER JUST TO FUCK AROUND IN. IT WAS ALMOST AS IF IN HIS CONVERSATION HE JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF AND MAKE ME FEEL STUPID FOR NOT WANTING TO BE WITH HIM BEFORE.
BUT I COULD CARELESS I REALIZED ONCE AGAIN THAT THIS PERSON REALLY WAS AN opps IN MORE FORMS THAN ONE. SO I WAS RELIEVED TO GET THE CHECK AT THE END OF THE NIGHT (WHICH YES I ENDED UP PAYING FOR... UNBEKNOWEST TO HIM THAT MY FOOD HAD BEEN COMPED HAHAHAHAHA). WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR THE CHECK TO BE BROUGHT BACK I SAW ONE OF MY BOYS ACROSS THE STREET AT DECOS AND CALLED HIM TO SAY HI... HE CHASTISED ME FOR BEING RUDE AND THEN CAME TO GIVE ME A HUG ( THEN IN DECOS LATER ASKED WHY I WAS WITH A LAME LIKE THAT).
opps WANTED A KISS AND I TOLD HIM THAT HE COULD HAVE IT LATER TONIGHT WHEN WE MET UP AFTER OUR RESPECTIVE CLUB ADVENTURES... A GUARENTEE THAT HE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE ME. HE SAID FINE AND OFFERED TO DRIVE ME HOME LATER THAT NIGHT SINCE HE NEEDED TO KNOW WHERE IT WAS ANYWAYS SO HE COULD PICK ME UP FOR THE CHARGER GAME THE NEXT DAY, I WAS COOL WITH THAT.
LATER THAT NIGHT HE GOT DRUNK AND MAD THAT I ANSWERED A CALL FROM secret, WHO I HAD SEEN LEAVING BELO (HE WAS MAKING SURE I GOT HOME SAFE CUZ HE HAD SEEN ME WALKING TO FIND THIS ASSWIPE BY MYSELF) WOULDN'T GO BACK TO HIS PLACE AND SLEEP (SO HE COULD TRY TO SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN) AND DECIDED HE WOULD LEAVE ME STRANDED DOWNTOWN.... THE PEOPLE AT MINUS ONE SAVED ME FROM HIM AND THEN I MET UP WITH MY ROOMATE AND WENT HOME...
NEEDLESS TO SAY I DIDN'T GO TO THE GAME.... AND NEEDLES TO SAY opps JUST MADE HIS 2ND AND 3RD STRIKE AND IS SOOOOOOO OUT LIKE A DESIGNER ON PROJECT RUNWAY.
SO OF COURSE I PICKED MY FAVORITE PLACE ASTI TO HEAD FOR DINNER. LUCKILY I BEAT HIM AND SNAGGED A GREAT TABLE OUTSIDE SO I COULD LOOK ACROSS THE STREET AND PEOPLE WATCHED WHILE I WAITED ( THIS DOUBLED AS A GREAT DISTRACTION FOR THE GAY AND BITCHASS PARTS OF DINNER).
**REALLY QUICKLY I JUST WANT TO TAKE THIS TO ONCE AGAIN COMMEND AND BRAGG ABOUT THE EXCELLENT SERVICE OF THIS PLACE!!!! NOT ONLY DID THE WHOLE STAFF MAKE SURE I WAS COMFORTABLE WHILE I WAITED THEY GAVE ME GREAT SERVICE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT AND EVEN CAME IN TO RESCUE ME A COUPLE TIMES FROM SOME OF THE MANY LAME MOMENTS OF DINNER*** I LOVE THE WHOLE STAFF AT ASTI!!!****
SO JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO ORDER AND SAY FUCK HIM, (opps WAS ALREADY LIKE 30 MINUTES LATE AND I WAS COLD AND HUNGRY) HE WALKED UP LOOKING NOT HOT BUT DECENT.... LIKE SOME GUY YOU COULD TAKE HOME AND MOM WOULD BE RELEAVED HE WASN'T A THUG OR SOMEHTING (PERSONALLY MY MOM WOULDA PROBABLY JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID UGH OR SOMETHING). OFF TOP DUDE LOOKS AT THE MENU AND HIS EYES ALMOST CAME OUT
o: " SO YOU'RE BALLIN NOW"
A:" NOT EVEN"
AT THIS POINT IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT I WAS GOING TO BE PAYING FOR DINNER TONIGHT. WHICH WAS FINE BECAUSE I REALLY WASN'T THAT HUNGRY AFTER SEEING HIS FACE HONESTLY.
THE OWNER AND ABOUT THREE WAITERS CHECKED ON US THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT. IT WAS QUITE FUNNY ACTUALLY... YOU COULD TELL THAT THEY DIDND'T APPROVE OF MY CHOICE IN COMPANY FOR THE EVENING.
opps AND I TALKED ABOUT HIS LITTLE BEDROOM MISHAP FROM BEFORE AND ABOUT THE VARIOUS CHANGES THAT WE BOTH HAD MADE IN OUR RESPECTIVE LIVES. IT AMAZED ME HOW POMPOUS HE WAS.... IT WAS DISGUSTING. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH GOING ON A HUMANITARIN TRIP WITH THE NAVY CHANGED HIS OUTLOOK ON LIFE HELPING THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN HIMSELF BUT THEN HE JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT HOW HE PAID FOR THIS AND THAT AND HOW HE UPGRADED FROM A BENZ TO A BEAMER AND MIGHT GET A CHARGER JUST TO FUCK AROUND IN. IT WAS ALMOST AS IF IN HIS CONVERSATION HE JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF AND MAKE ME FEEL STUPID FOR NOT WANTING TO BE WITH HIM BEFORE.
BUT I COULD CARELESS I REALIZED ONCE AGAIN THAT THIS PERSON REALLY WAS AN opps IN MORE FORMS THAN ONE. SO I WAS RELIEVED TO GET THE CHECK AT THE END OF THE NIGHT (WHICH YES I ENDED UP PAYING FOR... UNBEKNOWEST TO HIM THAT MY FOOD HAD BEEN COMPED HAHAHAHAHA). WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR THE CHECK TO BE BROUGHT BACK I SAW ONE OF MY BOYS ACROSS THE STREET AT DECOS AND CALLED HIM TO SAY HI... HE CHASTISED ME FOR BEING RUDE AND THEN CAME TO GIVE ME A HUG ( THEN IN DECOS LATER ASKED WHY I WAS WITH A LAME LIKE THAT).
opps WANTED A KISS AND I TOLD HIM THAT HE COULD HAVE IT LATER TONIGHT WHEN WE MET UP AFTER OUR RESPECTIVE CLUB ADVENTURES... A GUARENTEE THAT HE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE ME. HE SAID FINE AND OFFERED TO DRIVE ME HOME LATER THAT NIGHT SINCE HE NEEDED TO KNOW WHERE IT WAS ANYWAYS SO HE COULD PICK ME UP FOR THE CHARGER GAME THE NEXT DAY, I WAS COOL WITH THAT.
LATER THAT NIGHT HE GOT DRUNK AND MAD THAT I ANSWERED A CALL FROM secret, WHO I HAD SEEN LEAVING BELO (HE WAS MAKING SURE I GOT HOME SAFE CUZ HE HAD SEEN ME WALKING TO FIND THIS ASSWIPE BY MYSELF) WOULDN'T GO BACK TO HIS PLACE AND SLEEP (SO HE COULD TRY TO SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN) AND DECIDED HE WOULD LEAVE ME STRANDED DOWNTOWN.... THE PEOPLE AT MINUS ONE SAVED ME FROM HIM AND THEN I MET UP WITH MY ROOMATE AND WENT HOME...
NEEDLESS TO SAY I DIDN'T GO TO THE GAME.... AND NEEDLES TO SAY opps JUST MADE HIS 2ND AND 3RD STRIKE AND IS SOOOOOOO OUT LIKE A DESIGNER ON PROJECT RUNWAY.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
REFELCTIONZ: BEING ALONE
TEXTING U IS CRAZY CUZ IT MAKES ME SMILE.... I'M CONTENT TO BE ALONE BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I WANT. AND TILL SOMEHTING COMES ALONE THATS BETTER FOR ME AND CHANGES & CAPTIVATES MY MIND THE WAY YOU DO... IM JUST GOING TO BE ALONE.
YEAH IM OKAY WITH THAT... ARE U?
YEAH IM OKAY WITH THAT... ARE U?
Monday, November 24, 2008
THE SILVER LINING OF REJECTION
SOOOO YESTERDAY I GOT TO SPEND SOMETIME WITH new prospect, WHICH WAS COOL. BUT SEXUALLY FRUSTRATING.... ORIGINALLY HE WAS SUPPOSSED TO COME BACK BY BY BUT OF COURSE BECAUSE HE IS THE ULTIMATE FLUKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
SO ME BEING LAME OLE ME I DECIDED TO TEXT HIM BEING CUTE.
A: I WANT YOU
NP: WHY?
A: CUZ I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE SILLY
NP: WHY? WAT MAKES YOU WANT ME?
A: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING WITH YOU.
NP: WELL I DON'T THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA.
A: UMM WOW
A: OK... I GUESS. IM SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME
CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED I LAID IN MY BED THEN CURLED INTO A BALL. WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT THE HECK LED TO ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNOW. A PART OF ME WAS ACTUALLY SAD AT THIS POINT BECAUSE I THE KID WAS ACTUALLY STARTING TO GROW ON ME....
AS I BEGAN TO BEAT MYSELF UP OVER THIS WHOLE CONFUSING INCIDENT I BEGAN TO GET CALMER AND CALMER AND MADDER AND MADDER.
WHAT WAS SOO WRONG WITH ME?
WHY DOES STUFF JUST NOT WORK AT ALL?
MAYBE I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK.... YEAH ITS TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.... IS TIME TO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK.
SO A SINGLE TEXT MESSAGE WAS SENT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE.
A: I CAN'T TALK TOYOU ANYMORE
ABOUT 13 PEOPLE IN MY PHONE GOT THAT MESSAGE. ANOTHER TWO GOT MORE PERSONALIZED VERSIONS:
A: I CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE... THIS THING WITH US ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE -medlor
A: YOU AND I WILL NEVER BE BACK TOGETHER.... I KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME.- idiot
SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE BENEFIT OF A TEXT MESSAGE THEY JUST GOT DELETED FROM MY PHONE COMPLETELY.... INCLUDING lust, idiot, AND YES, him.
him WAS PARTICULARILY DIFFECULT TO DELETE BUT I DID IT, BOTH NUMBERS IN FACT. YES I SENT A MEMO OUT ABOUT IT BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER WAS IT WAS TIME FOR him TO COME BACK ON HIS OWN WITHOUT ME. AS LONG AS HIS NUMBER WAS THERE IT WAS A CRUTCH, IT WAS TEMPTAION. IF I TRULY WAS DONE AND OVER him LIKE I SAID THAT I WAS THEN I NEEDED TO JUST BE DONE AND OVER WITH HIM. IF I MEAN SOMETHING TO him HE WILL CONTACT ME.
AS FOR THE OTHER NUMBERS... lust NEEDED TO GO BECUASE WE JUST ARE GOING NO WHERE BUT GETTING ATTACHED AND IRRITABLE OFF NOTHING. idiot JUST NEEDED TO END HONESTLY
THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT THIS WHOLE REJECTION THAT new prospect DID WAS GIVE ME THE GUTS TO TELL secret HOW I FELT AND THAT I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM.... IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM FOR NO REASON AND FOR NO PURPOSE.... MOREOVER IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO HAVE A BUNCH OF GUYS THAT I DON'T LIKE AROUND ME AND NOT TO TELL THE ONE THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE THAT I DO.
SO BY THE END OF ALL OF THESE MESSAGES A LOT OF PEOPLE HADN'T REPLIED TO ME.... SOME WONDERED WHY WE WEREN'T GOING TO BE TALKING ANYMORE (I JUST NEED SPACE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY SOME PEOPLE ARE THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS) medlor FOUGHT IT BUT IN THE END WHO KNOWS... WITH secret I HAVE NO IDEA... BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW
RIGHT NOW A MAN IS THE LAST THING THAT I NEEDED TO WORRY ABOUT NOW
SO ME BEING LAME OLE ME I DECIDED TO TEXT HIM BEING CUTE.
A: I WANT YOU
NP: WHY?
A: CUZ I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE SILLY
NP: WHY? WAT MAKES YOU WANT ME?
A: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING WITH YOU.
NP: WELL I DON'T THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA.
A: UMM WOW
A: OK... I GUESS. IM SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME
CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED I LAID IN MY BED THEN CURLED INTO A BALL. WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT THE HECK LED TO ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNOW. A PART OF ME WAS ACTUALLY SAD AT THIS POINT BECAUSE I THE KID WAS ACTUALLY STARTING TO GROW ON ME....
AS I BEGAN TO BEAT MYSELF UP OVER THIS WHOLE CONFUSING INCIDENT I BEGAN TO GET CALMER AND CALMER AND MADDER AND MADDER.
WHAT WAS SOO WRONG WITH ME?
WHY DOES STUFF JUST NOT WORK AT ALL?
MAYBE I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK.... YEAH ITS TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.... IS TIME TO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK.
SO A SINGLE TEXT MESSAGE WAS SENT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE.
A: I CAN'T TALK TOYOU ANYMORE
ABOUT 13 PEOPLE IN MY PHONE GOT THAT MESSAGE. ANOTHER TWO GOT MORE PERSONALIZED VERSIONS:
A: I CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE... THIS THING WITH US ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE -medlor
A: YOU AND I WILL NEVER BE BACK TOGETHER.... I KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME.- idiot
SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE BENEFIT OF A TEXT MESSAGE THEY JUST GOT DELETED FROM MY PHONE COMPLETELY.... INCLUDING lust, idiot, AND YES, him.
him WAS PARTICULARILY DIFFECULT TO DELETE BUT I DID IT, BOTH NUMBERS IN FACT. YES I SENT A MEMO OUT ABOUT IT BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER WAS IT WAS TIME FOR him TO COME BACK ON HIS OWN WITHOUT ME. AS LONG AS HIS NUMBER WAS THERE IT WAS A CRUTCH, IT WAS TEMPTAION. IF I TRULY WAS DONE AND OVER him LIKE I SAID THAT I WAS THEN I NEEDED TO JUST BE DONE AND OVER WITH HIM. IF I MEAN SOMETHING TO him HE WILL CONTACT ME.
AS FOR THE OTHER NUMBERS... lust NEEDED TO GO BECUASE WE JUST ARE GOING NO WHERE BUT GETTING ATTACHED AND IRRITABLE OFF NOTHING. idiot JUST NEEDED TO END HONESTLY
THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT THIS WHOLE REJECTION THAT new prospect DID WAS GIVE ME THE GUTS TO TELL secret HOW I FELT AND THAT I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM.... IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM FOR NO REASON AND FOR NO PURPOSE.... MOREOVER IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO HAVE A BUNCH OF GUYS THAT I DON'T LIKE AROUND ME AND NOT TO TELL THE ONE THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE THAT I DO.
SO BY THE END OF ALL OF THESE MESSAGES A LOT OF PEOPLE HADN'T REPLIED TO ME.... SOME WONDERED WHY WE WEREN'T GOING TO BE TALKING ANYMORE (I JUST NEED SPACE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY SOME PEOPLE ARE THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS) medlor FOUGHT IT BUT IN THE END WHO KNOWS... WITH secret I HAVE NO IDEA... BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW
RIGHT NOW A MAN IS THE LAST THING THAT I NEEDED TO WORRY ABOUT NOW
Friday, November 14, 2008
WHY BOTHER (secret SMILEZ)
I STARTED TO POST A LETTER I WROTE him UP HERE... AND HONESTLY STILL MIGHT...
BUT 4 TIMES A LADY CAME ON....
AND ALL I COULD DO WAS SMILE THINKING ABOUT YOU... I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE HURT ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE secret AND RIGHT NOW... IT MIGHT NOT BE EVERTHING
BUT ITS EXACTLY WAT WAS NEEDED TO REMIND ME THAT THERE IS JUST BETTER THAN him THERE ALWAYS WAS
SO WHY BOTHER TO PUT him OUT THERE JUST YET
BUT 4 TIMES A LADY CAME ON....
AND ALL I COULD DO WAS SMILE THINKING ABOUT YOU... I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE HURT ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE secret AND RIGHT NOW... IT MIGHT NOT BE EVERTHING
BUT ITS EXACTLY WAT WAS NEEDED TO REMIND ME THAT THERE IS JUST BETTER THAN him THERE ALWAYS WAS
SO WHY BOTHER TO PUT him OUT THERE JUST YET
Thursday, November 13, 2008
SECRET
IM SOOOO ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW..... LIKE IM SMILING SO MUCH ITS SCARRY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THINGS MIGHT NOT GO THE WAY THAT I WANT BUT CAN'T HELP IT.....
I SWEAR THE RESPONSE MADE MY HEART JUMP OUTTA MY CHEST... AND TALKING TO YOU MADE A BAD DAY SOOOO GOOOD. I MEAN HOW FUCKIN CRAZY IS THIS.... IT'S YOU.... I MEAN YOU AND IM SO BLOWN BACK RIGHT NOW
IM SCARED SHITLESS BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. IM HAVE NO CLUE HOW THIS COULD WORK BUT ALREADY WENT TO SLEEP DREAMING ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT.
AND EVEN THO THIS MORNING DIDN'T START OUT THE WAY I WANTED TO.... THINKING ABOUT YOU MADE ME SMILE OUTSIDE IN. LOOKIN AT A PICTURE MADE ME MELT AND NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING BUT FIGHTING FOR SOMEHTING THAT I BEYOND DESERVE....
I KEEP HEARING MY HEAD TELL ME TO STOP FALLING BUT I KNOW THAT I ALREADY DID LONG BEFORE HAND. THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING AND SUSTAINING ME IN THE SAME INSTANCE.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE MY LITTLE secret,"
SO DON'T ASK ME WHO IT IS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I'M GOING TO KEEP IT.
I SWEAR THE RESPONSE MADE MY HEART JUMP OUTTA MY CHEST... AND TALKING TO YOU MADE A BAD DAY SOOOO GOOOD. I MEAN HOW FUCKIN CRAZY IS THIS.... IT'S YOU.... I MEAN YOU AND IM SO BLOWN BACK RIGHT NOW
IM SCARED SHITLESS BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. IM HAVE NO CLUE HOW THIS COULD WORK BUT ALREADY WENT TO SLEEP DREAMING ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT.
AND EVEN THO THIS MORNING DIDN'T START OUT THE WAY I WANTED TO.... THINKING ABOUT YOU MADE ME SMILE OUTSIDE IN. LOOKIN AT A PICTURE MADE ME MELT AND NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING BUT FIGHTING FOR SOMEHTING THAT I BEYOND DESERVE....
I KEEP HEARING MY HEAD TELL ME TO STOP FALLING BUT I KNOW THAT I ALREADY DID LONG BEFORE HAND. THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING AND SUSTAINING ME IN THE SAME INSTANCE.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE MY LITTLE secret,"
SO DON'T ASK ME WHO IT IS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I'M GOING TO KEEP IT.
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