THE SILVER LINING OF REJECTION

SOOOO YESTERDAY I GOT TO SPEND SOMETIME WITH new prospect, WHICH WAS COOL. BUT SEXUALLY FRUSTRATING.... ORIGINALLY HE WAS SUPPOSSED TO COME BACK BY BY BUT OF COURSE BECAUSE HE IS THE ULTIMATE FLUKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.


SO ME BEING LAME OLE ME I DECIDED TO TEXT HIM BEING CUTE.


A: I WANT YOU

NP: WHY?

A: CUZ I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE SILLY

NP: WHY? WAT MAKES YOU WANT ME?

A: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING WITH YOU.

NP: WELL I DON'T THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA.

A: UMM WOW

A: OK... I GUESS. IM SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME


CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED I LAID IN MY BED THEN CURLED INTO A BALL. WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT THE HECK LED TO ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNOW. A PART OF ME WAS ACTUALLY SAD AT THIS POINT BECAUSE I THE KID WAS ACTUALLY STARTING TO GROW ON ME....


AS I BEGAN TO BEAT MYSELF UP OVER THIS WHOLE CONFUSING INCIDENT I BEGAN TO GET CALMER AND CALMER AND MADDER AND MADDER.


WHAT WAS SOO WRONG WITH ME?

WHY DOES STUFF JUST NOT WORK AT ALL?


MAYBE I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK.... YEAH ITS TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.... IS TIME TO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK.


SO A SINGLE TEXT MESSAGE WAS SENT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE.

A: I CAN'T TALK TOYOU ANYMORE


ABOUT 13 PEOPLE IN MY PHONE GOT THAT MESSAGE. ANOTHER TWO GOT MORE PERSONALIZED VERSIONS:


A: I CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE... THIS THING WITH US ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE -medlor

A: YOU AND I WILL NEVER BE BACK TOGETHER.... I KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME.- idiot


SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE BENEFIT OF A TEXT MESSAGE THEY JUST GOT DELETED FROM MY PHONE COMPLETELY.... INCLUDING lust, idiot, AND YES, him.


him WAS PARTICULARILY DIFFECULT TO DELETE BUT I DID IT, BOTH NUMBERS IN FACT. YES I SENT A MEMO OUT ABOUT IT BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER WAS IT WAS TIME FOR him TO COME BACK ON HIS OWN WITHOUT ME. AS LONG AS HIS NUMBER WAS THERE IT WAS A CRUTCH, IT WAS TEMPTAION. IF I TRULY WAS DONE AND OVER him LIKE I SAID THAT I WAS THEN I NEEDED TO JUST BE DONE AND OVER WITH HIM. IF I MEAN SOMETHING TO him HE WILL CONTACT ME.


AS FOR THE OTHER NUMBERS... lust NEEDED TO GO BECUASE WE JUST ARE GOING NO WHERE BUT GETTING ATTACHED AND IRRITABLE OFF NOTHING. idiot JUST NEEDED TO END HONESTLY


THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT THIS WHOLE REJECTION THAT new prospect DID WAS GIVE ME THE GUTS TO TELL secret HOW I FELT AND THAT I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM.... IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM FOR NO REASON AND FOR NO PURPOSE.... MOREOVER IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE FOR ME TO HAVE A BUNCH OF GUYS THAT I DON'T LIKE AROUND ME AND NOT TO TELL THE ONE THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE THAT I DO.


SO BY THE END OF ALL OF THESE MESSAGES A LOT OF PEOPLE HADN'T REPLIED TO ME.... SOME WONDERED WHY WE WEREN'T GOING TO BE TALKING ANYMORE (I JUST NEED SPACE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY SOME PEOPLE ARE THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS) medlor FOUGHT IT BUT IN THE END WHO KNOWS... WITH secret I HAVE NO IDEA... BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW


RIGHT NOW A MAN IS THE LAST THING THAT I NEEDED TO WORRY ABOUT NOW