OMG!!!!: ITS OFFICIAL DANITY KANE IS NO MORE

SO IN A STATEMENT RELASED BY DAWN RICHARDS JAN 27 2009 ITS OFFICIAL THAT THE BAD BOY RECODING GROUP HAS SPLIT UP

SOME OF YOU MAY REMEMBER THE LIVE SEASON FINALE OF MAKING THE BAND (THE GROUP TO THE RIGHT THAT NIGHT) THAT AIRED IN OCTOBER IN WHICH IT WAS SAID THAT AUBREY O'DAY AND D WOODS WERE OUT OF THE GROUP. (TRUST ME I DID AND WAS THROUGHLY PISSED AND SAD). AUBREY WAS BEING DISMISSED FOR HER BEHAVIOR AND HIGH SEX APPEAL WHICH HONESTLY WAS A HUGE FACTOR IN PEOPLE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GROUP.

SEAN "DIDDY" COMBS HAD THESE WORDS DURING THE LIVE SECTION OF THE SHOW.

"I got love for Aubrey," he said. "I don't have any beef with her. I just want to work with the young lady that I signed, not the person that fame has made her."

AUBREY RESPONDED WITH THESE WORDS,

"I would rather be hated every damn day of my life for being real than loved for being something I'm not,"

COMB'S RESPONSE VIA SATELLITE INDICATED THAT O'DAY NEEDED TO HUMBLE HERSELF AND BASICALLY STOP BEING SUCH A DIVA. HE ALSO INDICATED AFTER THE SHOW THAT HE WOULD BE OPEN TO WORKING WITH WOODS AGAIN (WHO PLANS TO WORK WITH ANTOTHER GROUP THE GIRLS CLUB) AFTER SHE DISTANCED HERSELF FROM AUBREY.

BUT EVEN AFTER THERE WERE RUMORS THAT THE GROUP WAS GOING TO BE WORKING THINGS OUT AND IT WAS MERELY A STUNT TO GET RATINGS UP.

BUT APPARENTLY ITS VERY VERY VERY TRUE. AND NEXT SEASON'S EPISODE'S OF THE SHOW WILL START WITH AUDITIONS TO FIND REPLACEMENT MEMEBERS FOR O'DAY AND WOODS.

AS I STATED EARLIER BAND MEMBER DAWN RICHARDS WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE THE WORD TO THE PRESS A COUPLE DAYS AGO THAT THE SPLIT WAS OFFICIAL. EARLIER IN OCTOBER RICHARDS TOLD US WEEKLY THAT THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK ON THE SUBJECT OF AUBREY WAS HER COVER AND SPREAD FOR THE OCTOBER ISSUE OF COMPLEX MAGAZINE (ONE OF THE PIX IS TO THE RIGHT BY THE WAY) WHERE SHE APPEARED TOPPLESS AND ALSO SPOKE VERY OPENLY ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND "X RATED" PERSONALITY.

"We had just did a signing with Dollhouse Teen, which is for 13, 14-year-old young girls... So we can't do that one day and then the next day do an obnoxious cover.... [Combs] wants the fans, and he says he can't do that if we can continue to go in the direction that we were going."-RICHARDS

IN HER INTERVIEW WITH MTV NEWS ON 01:27:09 RICHARDS STATED THAT COMBS HAD INVITED HERSELF, AND OTHER GROUP MEMEBERS AUDRINA FIMBRES AND SHANNON BEX BACK BUT ONLY HERSELF AND AUDRINA RETURNED (APPARENTLY IT WASN'T JUST FANS THAT WERE DISCONENT/HEARTENED BY THE SPLIT).

**ON A TOTAL SIDE BAR I DO WANT TO SAY THIS.... I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE THOSE WHO FEEL THAT DAWN AND Q FROM DAY 26'S RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO HELP KEEP RATINGS GOING GREAT FOR THE SHOW AND PEOPLE INTERESTED IN DANITY KANE... BUT HONESTLY IT HAS NOTHING ON AUDREY'S HUGE PERSONALITY OR D WOODS SWAGGER.

YOU KNOW HONESTLY I HAVE TO SAY IT JUST LIKE THIS.... DANITY KANE ISN'T DANITY KANE WITHOUT D WOODS ATTITUDE AND SWAGGER AND IT CERTAINLY WON'T BE A POWERHOUSE GROUP OR A THREAT TO THE CHARTS WITH AUBREY GONE.

LETS JUST KEEP IT REAL... AUBREY WAS THE X-FACTOR IN THE GROUP THAT HAD PEOPLE WANTING TO BE CURIOUS AND GO OUT AND SEE THEM. SHE WAS THE SEX SYMBOL OF THE GROUP AND THE ONE THAT HAD FANS CHEERING FROM DAY ONE. THE GROUP, SHOW, AND MUSIC ARE GOING TO BE SUPER BORING WITHOUT HER AROUND.

WITH D WOODS GONE THE GROUP HAS NO REAL APPEAL OR URBAN APPEAL IN MY OPPINION. SHE WAS MADE THE GROUP DIFFERENT FROM THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS, DREAM (THE OLD BAD BOY GIRL GROUP), AND ANY OTHER GIRL GROUP. SHE WAS COOL AND JUST DOWN. I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN THE GROUP WITHOUT HER EITHER.

IM MEAN ITS JUST SAD.... TO ME THE WHOLE THING IS NO DIFFERENT THEN WHAT BEYONCE WAS TO DESTINY'S CHILD.... IN A GROUP YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE ONE MEMEBER WHO SHINES ABOVE THE REST. ITS NO DIFFERENT THAN KELLY.... YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE ONE MEMEBER WHO KEEPS THE REAL AND STREET APPEAL... O'DAY AND WOODS WERE JUST THAT TO DANITY KANE.... EVERYBODY ELSE IS JUST A MICHELLE.

RANDOM THOUGHT:

I LOVE MY FIRST LOVE my heart!!!! HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND REALLY GIVE ME CLARITY ON WHATEVER IS GOING ON.


HE'S HONEST AND REAL AND IM THANKFUL THAT TI STILL HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE AS A FRIEND AND CONFIDANT

OMG!!!!: MY BOSS

SO ACCORDING TO MY BOSS'S PERSONAL EXPERIENCE (WHICH HE JUST HAD BY THE WAY) NEVER EAT FIRECRACKER CHICKEN AND THEN RUB YOUR EYE

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

OMG!!!!

SO APPARENTLY DEXTER STARS MICHEAL C HALL AND JENIFER CARPENTER ELOPED NEW YEAR'E EVE 2008!!!!

SO DIDIN'T KNOW THAT BUT THEY ARE TOO CUTE TOGETHER! AND AS YOU KNOW DEXTER IS ONE OF MY SHOWS THAT IM ADDICTED TO!!!



CONGRATS GUYS

SOL FOOD: 01:29:09

IN THE WAKE OF TURMOIL YOU DEFINE NOT JUST WHO YOU ARE BUT WHO YOU ARE GOING TO BE....


STAY TRUE TO YOUR MORALS AND VALUES.... NO MATTER WHAT IT MAY LOOK LIKE, NO MATTER WHAT MAY HAPPEN.


JUST KNOW THAT EVERY WRONG WILL BE VINDICATED AND THERE ALWAYS IS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING

SOL FOOD: 01:28:09

THE REASON WHY THINGS HURT IS BECAUSE YOU ASSIGN HURT TO THEM....


THE REASON WHY SOMEHTING BOTHERS YOU IS BECAUSE YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR IT TO....


THE REASON WHY YOUR LIFE IS THE WAY IT IS IS BECASUE YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT ALLOW IT TO BE THAT WAY....

SOO I JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND OVER A BUNCH OF DRAMA THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT.... BUT IT ALL CENTERS AROUND surprise.



IM SUPER FUCKING SAD RIGHT NOW BUT IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU... IN LIFE FRIENDS ARE NON-EXISTENT. YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN TRUST OR DEPEND ON. AND YOU KNOW WHAT RIGHT NOW.... IM SOOOOOOOO FUCKIN GOOD SOLO


ALL OF THIS IS FUCKED UP BEYOND BELIEF

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LETTERS FROM THE SOL: CATCH 22

DEAR


YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND..... AND I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR YOU... BUY RIGHT NOW IM SOOOOO FRUSTRATED WITH YOU.



WHY AM I HIDING THINGS FROM YOU??? BECAUSE YOU OPENLY DON'T APPROVE AND I HATE DISAPPOINTING YOU. BUT THEN AGAIN YOU KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T LIKE FOR YOU TO BE MAD.


SURE I CAN SAY WHATEVER AND DO WHAT I WANT BUT WHAT TYPE OF FRIEND WOULD I BE TO YOU? I RESPECT YOUR OPPINION BUT CHECK IT IM HAPPY I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IM HAPPY NOT MY EGO NOT MY BODY NOT ANYTHING BUT PLAIN OLE DORKY STUPID ME IS HAPPY.


AND MY HAPPINESS IS BEING KILLED KNOWING THAT YOURE UPSET



HE ASKED ME NOT TO TELL YOU WATS GOING ON. WAS I GOING TO LIE TO YOU IF YOU ASKED NO.... BUT TELL YOU NO IM SORRY YOUR CONFIDENCE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT I NEED TO KEEP.


TWISTING SHIT TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I JUST WANTED TO SEE MY NIGGA.... NO THAT WASN'T IT.... I CAME UP WITH A SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM AS IT STOOD SO THAT EVERYONE COULD COME DO THERE THING AND ME NOT HOLD THEM BACK... OH YEA FYI THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GETTING IT FROM YOU, TRYING TO RUSH TO GET READY, STRESSIN OF MY WORK, AND EVERYTHING ELSE I HAD HIM ON THE PHONE UPSET THAT I WASN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH TO FIND A WAY TO COME SEE HIM.


IT WAS SUCH A CATCH 22 IT WASN'T FUNNY.... AND NOW THE CATCH 22 THAT I'M IN IS RIDICUOULS


I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU OVER THIS CUZ ITS STUPID AND WE'RE BETTER THAN IT. BUT I DON'T WANT TO SACRAFICE MY HAPPINES EITHER. AND I'VE TOLD HIM THE SAME THING FOR THE RECORD.


YOU'RE TOOO IMPORTANT TO ME.... BUT THIS CRAZINESS HAS TO STOP. I'LL DO MY PART AND JUST TAKE ME OUTTA THE EQUATION AND DO A BETTER JOB OF JUST TELLING YOU EVERYTHING AND MAKING SURE THAT THE TWO DON'T CONFLICT BUT LETS NOT LET THIS KILL US.



YOURS,
ANJL MARIE

WHY ANJLIKSOL IS HERE

SO LAST WEEK I SAID THAT I WAS TAKING SOME TIME AWAY FROM MY BLOG TO REALLY GET SOME PERSPECTIVE ON MY LIFE AND ON THE THINGS THAT I WANTED TO WRITE IN MY BLOG....



IM BACK NOW BECAUSE I NEED TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL.... WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT THAT I CREATED THIS BLOG. PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING... THE WHOLE POINT OF ANJLIKSOL WAS THAT I COULD EXPRESS MYSELF OPENLY ABOUT VARIOUS ASPECTS OF MY LIFE, STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES, INTERESTS AND Y CERTAIN STUFF DOESN'T INTERST ME, MY EXPERIENCES AND EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS THAT HAVE IMPACTED ME.


IM NOT HERE TO PUMP MY EGO IM HEAR SO THAT HOPEFULLY SOMEONE CAN RELATE TO ME AND THE THINGS I TALK ABOUT AND IT CAN HELP THEM, MAKE THEM FEEL NOT ALONE, LAUGH CRY, BE INSPIRED, WHATEVER.



SOOOO THIS IS THE NEW TONE OF ANJLIKSOL......


WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE SAYING IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT. AND HOPEFULLY THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE MY LOYAL READERS WILL CONTINUE TO APPRECIATE THAT AND SO WILL MY NEW READERS. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ MY BLOG... ITS THAT SIMPLE.

TAKING A BREAK

TO ALL MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS AND PEOPLE CHECKIN ANJLIKSOL OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME:


IM TAKING A BIT OF A BREAK.... HONESTLY I HAVE A LOT IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW STILL FROM LETTERS FROM THE SOL: (UNTITLED) TO MY RAPIST


I REALLY WANT TO TAKE THIS BLOG TO A DIFFERENT LEVEL AND I JUST HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT AND THAT ARE GOING ON I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M PUTTING OUT QUALITY AND NOT JUST CRAP ON HERE.


SOOOOOOO TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT YOUR GIRL WILL BE BACK.... NEXT WEEK SOMETIME WITH A CLEAR HEAD AND NEW MATERIAL.


I'LL STILL BE POSTING EVENT REVIEWS,PICS, AND OTHER URBAN TRENDS & INFO ON THE STAR-DOM ENT BLOG (http://star-doment.blogspot.com)


AND I'LL BE ON MY MYSPACE PAGE (http://www.myspace.com/anjl)


AND YOU CAN SEE VIA TWITTER EITHER HERE OR (http://twitter.com/AnJLMarie)


MEAN TIME CATCH UP ON MY OLDER POSTS AND TALK TO YOU ALL SOON!!!


ANJL MARIE

SOL FOOD 01:20:09

ON THIS HISTORIC DAY I THOUGHT IT APPROPRIATE TO QUOTE OUR NEW PRESIDENT


"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.





What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.




Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.


The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.



As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.





And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more. Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.




We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."

him

SO YEAH.... I HAD BEEN UNDER MY ROCK FOR A FEW DAYS AND FAILED TO MENTION THAT I TALKED TO him WEDNESDAY AND ALSO AGAIN ON SUNDAY.....


CRAZYNESS RIGHT???


UMM IDK HONESTLY WEDNESDAY I HAD A LOTTA MIXED FEELINGS WHEN HE CALLED... MOSTLY IT WAS STRAIGHT UP SHOCK.... AND I WAS KINDA LIKE WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME? BUT IN MY STRESS SUNDAY WE TEXTED FOR A BIT WHICH WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY HELPFUL.... WE HAVE A SHOOT THIS SUNDAY SO WE SHALL SEE HOW THAT GOES

I HEART: SOCAL AND MY A07 FAM

SO IT WAS GREAT TO SEE MY A07 FAM ESPECIALLY socal SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE YUNG BERG CONCERT!!! GOT MAD RESPECT FOR THEM FOR GIVING ME MY START AND STAYIN FAM THRU EVERYTHING. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

HERE ARE SOME PICS cal TOOK FIRST ONE IS ME AND BERG SECOND IS ME WITH NENA AND THE REGAL CHIK$!! FOR MORE GO TO: http://risea07.wordpress.com/

SBA @ THE D AFTER SESSION

SO JAN 10, 2009 I HEADED UP TO THE D AFTER SESSIONS WITH MY GURL THE DUTCHESS (AKA ju$ PULLZ). IT WAS MAD CRAZY AND TRUE TO REGAL CHIK FORM WE ROKED THE HOUSE. HERE ARE SOME OF THE IMAGES FROM THAT NIGHT.

SHAWTZ EVENT LINE UP FOR THE WEEK:

HEY HEY GANG!!!! THE WEEKEND WAS MAD CRAZY (IMAGES UP SOON) POP NOIR THURS, BOBBY VALENTINO FRIDAY, AND YUNG BERG SATURDAY (SHEEEZZZ RIGHT) BUT THIS WEEK IS EVEN CRAZIER WITH THE INAUGURATION, TYLER PERRY, ASR, ASR PARTIES AND A LOT MORE!!! SO LOOK FOR PLENTY OF STUFF HERE AND ON THE STAR-DOM BLOGSPOT!!!





TUESDAY: WITH MY GIRL CEDES, DRED CARPET, & FRANCHISE PRESENTS @ RED CIRCLE


WEDNESDAY: TYLER PERRY'S "THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR"


THURSDAY -SATURDAY: ASR

THURSDAY: AO7 /CROOKS & CASTLE/ HELLZ BELLZ/ ASR PARTY

SOL FOOD 01:19:09

IN HONOR OF DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING THIS IS MY SOL FOOD FOR THE DAY... FROM HIS FAMOUS "I HAVE A DREAM" SPEACH.


"But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice."


LETS REMEMBER TODAY NOT JUST THE MAN OR THE DREAM HE HAD BUT THAT IT ISN'T YET FULLY REALIZED AND THAT WE ALL STILL MUST WORK TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.... TOGETHER

HELLO WORLD

HI GUYS I KNOW THAT IVE BEEN PRETTY QUITE AFTER THAT LAST POST.... BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO DO THAT...


THANK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO READ LETTERS FROM THE SOL: (UNTITLED) TO MY RAPIST... AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY THANK YOU TO EVERY PERSON WHO IS NOW FOLLOWING MY BLOG BECAUSE OF IT.


I WANT THO TO SEND A VERY VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU OUT TO EVERY PERSON WHO COMMENTED ON THIS BLOG. YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM, ENCOURAGMENT, SIMPATHY, AND EVERYTHING ELSE TRULEY DID OVERWHELM ME.... AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.... I LOVE YALL


I NEED TO SEND A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO MY SISTER MIZZ MINNIE, MY GIRL JU JU, AND MY MENTOR KEV THE MOGUL CUZ I KNOW THAT I FREAKED BOTH OF THEM OUT A LOT BUT THANK YOU FOR REALLY JUST SHOWING ME MADDDDDDDDD LOVE OVER THE PAST COUPLE DAYS.


BUT I'M BACK AND NEW BLOGS ARE COMMING HERE AND ON THE STAR-DOM ENT BLOGSPOT SO DON'T TRIP I AINT DEAD YET

LETTERS FROM THE SOL: (UNTITLED) TO MY RAPIST

DEAR,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M WRITING THIS TO YOU... BUT I THINK I NEED TO.


FOUR YEARS AGO YESTEREDAY YOU SHATTERED EVERY IMAGE OF WHAT A MAN WAS SUPPOSSED TO BE, A FRIEND WAS, AND HOW YOU SHOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE.


YOU WERE UPSET THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE THINGS ANOTHER TRY.... THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE ME. YOU MANIPULATED MY FRIEND, UR FRIEND, AND TOOK AND DESTROYED. YOU WERE HIGH AND DRUNK AND ENRAGED AND EVEN WANTED TO HIT ME, THREATENED TO HURT ME IF I SAID ANYTHING. THEN SAID THAT IT WAS BECAUSE YOU MISSED ME SO MUCH YOU JUST THOUGHT IF YOU MADE ME SEE....


I REMEMBER HOW WELL I HAD PLAYED IN MY GAME EARLIER THAT NIGHT.... HOW MY FRIEND WANTED ME TO COME VISIT.... HOW U KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE UP THERE AND THAT YOU JUST WANTED TO SHOW ME THAT YOU OVER NOT BEING TOGETHER AND MISSED YOUR FRIEND....


ITS CRAZY CUZ I WAS ACTUALLY HAPPY TO SEE YOU.... I WAS GLAD... TILL I SAW THAT YOU HADN'T CHANGED, SAME OLD CHRISTIAN, SAME BAD HABBITS, SAME TEMPER, STILL JUST NOT WILLING TO BE DIFFERENT.


THEN WE ENDED UP BACK AT THAT HOUSE.... I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT HOUSE, THAT ROOM. WALKING ARM AND ARM WITH MY FRIEND LAUGHING AND TELLING HIM HOW YOU HAD TRIED TO COME ONTO ME.... IT WAS DARK BLUE IRONIC I THOUGHT FOR A BLOOD... HOW TYPICAL OF A JOCK TO HAVE A HEIGHT BENCH IN THEIR BEDROOM... I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE CHRISTIAN WAS... I DIDN'T CARE. MY FRIEND TOLD ME HOW HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE JUST FRIENDS AND KISSED ME... I REMEMBER THINKING THAT I COULDN'T DO THAT TO CHRISTIAN DESPITE HOW MUCH I DIDN'T FEEL FOR HIM ANYMORE...


BUT MY FRIEND KEPT KISSING AND ENDEND UP ONTOP ME, YOU SEE I DIDN'T SEE YOU IN THE DOOR WAY. AND BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING I WAS BEING HELD DOWN BY MY FRIEND AND YOU HAD REPLACED HIM ON TOP OF ME.


"DON'T MAKE A SOUND OR ELSE.... I WANT YOU."


I TRIED TO RESIST BUT MY FRIEND WAS MORE THAN TWICE MY SIZE AND HOLDING ME DOWN. MY PANTS CAME OFF AND YOU STARTED TO PENETRATE...


I SAID NO,

I SAID NO

PLEASE

PLEASE NO...


YOU DIDN'T CARE AND SAID SHUT UP AND TAKE IT....


AND I GAVE UP AND JUST STARTED TO CRY.... AND LOOKED UP AT WHO I THOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND HOLDING ME DOWN AND JUST SAID, "PLEASE JUST DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE.... Y?"


I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS ABOUT THAT PLEA THAT BROUGHT YOU OUT OF YOUR HIGH AND BACK TO SOBRIETY BUT MY FRIEND TRIED TO BE MY FRIEND AGAIN AND PUSHED U OFF CHRISTIAN, AND PULLED ME UP CRYING TO HIM.


I REMEMBER THAT I WAS SHAKING... AND STILL CRYING... MY FRIEND STARTED TO APPOLOGIZE AND SAY THAT HE SAID YOU WANTED A ROUGH THREESOME AND THAT I SAID IT WAS OK.... "I'M SORRY B I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WAS LYING"


"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LAY THE BITCH BACK DOWN SO I CAN FINISH"


"STAY AWAY FROM HER"


"YOU'RE STICKING UP FOR HER SHE'S FUCKIN MINE SHE WANTED THIS SHIT STUPID ASS BITCH"


"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" SOMEHOW MY STRENGTH HAD RETURNED TO ME. I WAS STANDING NEAR THE BAR.


"GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I HIT YOU"


"CHRISTIAN JUST LEAVE JUST GO"


"NO THIS BITCH HAS THREE SECONDS BEFORE I BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA HER AND LAY HER BACK DOWN.... ONE"

"BLOOD JUST CHILL OUT."

"TWO"

I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE WEIGHT IN HIS HAND OR HIM START TO SWING BUT MY FRIEND DID. IF HE HADN'T HAVE PUSHED YOU BACK INTO THE WALL IT WOULD HAVE KNOCKED ME TO THE TEMPLE AND I WOULD HAVE LANDED AGAINST THE BAR THEN THE BENCH AND BEEN OUT.


"CHRISTIAN FUCKIN LEAVE NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!! B I'M SORRY I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD EVER DO THIS TOO YOU ITS OKAY I PROMISE I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET BACK TO THE CAR SAFE."


I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER THAT EXCEPT THE WATER FROM THE SHOWER AND ME CURLED IN A BALL ON THE GROUND. I GOT UP FOUR TIMES THAT NIGHT TO TAKE A SHOWER.


10 MISSED CALLS 5 NEW VOICEMAILS 14 NEW TEXT MESSAGES


R U OK? I FEEL LIKE SOME THING'S WRONG

MY FRIEND (2)

CHRISTIAN (3)

ANTOTHER FRIEND (4)

ANSWER YOUR PHONE

TALK TO ME

TALK TO ME

B ITS ME I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

TELL ANYONE AND I'M COMMING AFTER YOU

my heart (1)

"HEY B ITS ME cbr CALLED WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT BE HERE IS EVERYTHING OK CALL ME BACK"


APPARENTLY A WHOLE WEEKEND PASSED



MONDAY I WAS IN CLASS TRANSCRIBING LYRICS INTO ONE OF MY BOOKS AND IT HIT ME THAT IT WASN'T JUST A NIGHTMARE.... AND I STARTED TO SHAKE AND SWEAT.... I WAS HYPERVENTALATING.... GOING INTO SHOCK.


I DIDN'T FINISH CLASS THAT DAY


"FRIEND DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN OR WAS IT A DREAM"

"IT DID... DID YOU CALL THE COPS YOU CAN'T I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN FOR THAT TOO PLEASE... YOU'RE MY FRIEND.... AND CHRISTIAN SAID HE'D HAVE YOU KILLED."


AND AS I HUNG UP THE PHONE I TRIED TO FORGET IT... IT EVER HAPPENED. AND TO A DEGREE I DID. I SAW YOU AGAIN CHRISTIAN AND I KNOW YOU TRIED TO COME AND GET ME.... BUT I WAS PROTECTED THEN....


MORE TIME HAS PASSED I'M SURE TO YOU IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WASN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL TO YOU AND ITS JUST SOME DISTANT MEMORY. BUT FOR ME IT STILL STINGS.... IT STILL CARRIES A SCAR.


I CAN'T GET TOOO CLOSE TO MY GUY FRIENDS CUZ I HAD ONE COMMIT THE ULTIMATE BETRAYL...


I'M AFRAID TO NOT GIVE SOMEONE WHAT THEY WANT.... CUZ THEY MIGHT TAKE IT ONE DAY....


AND I STILL SOMETIMES TAKE SHOWERS BECAUSE I FEEL NOT QUITE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.


STILL CAN'T QUITE FEEL TOTALLY SAFE WITH ANYONE.



SO WHY WRITE YOU KNOW? CUZ FOUR YEARS LATER I UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE OF THAT HORRIBBLE NIGHT I STARTED TO REINVENT MYSELF TO HIDE THE SCARS... AND IN THE PROCESS I FOUND HOW STRONG AND BOLD AND GREAT I AM...


SO THANK YOU.... I KNOW YOU JUST THINK YOU HURT ME.... BUT I AM WHERE I AM CUZ YOU DECIDED TO TRY TO DESTROY ME.... I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT WAS THE FIRST FLIGHT FOR THIS phoenix

DAYMNUM!!!!!

SOO I SAW THIS ON LINE BROWSING THROUGH complex magazine ONLINE AND FUCKING FELL IN LOVE

REFLECTIONZ: MOTORCYCLE RIDING

SO IF ANY OF YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER (YES I HAVE A TWITTER... CLICK THE BOX ON THE RIGHT) YOU KNOW THAT THIS WEEKEND I WENT MOTORCYCLE RIDING.


CRAZY YES I KNOW BUT I GUESS I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING CRAZY.

I HAD A LOT OF FUN THE SECOND TIME... THE FIRST TIME I'LL ADMIT I WAS SO MUCH MORE PREOCUPIED WITH BEING SCARED AND HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.



FIRST TRIP WAS FROM DOWNTOWN TO OLD TOWN AND BACK WITH hmm (BECAUSE EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL I CAN THINK IS HMMM) WHICH WAS SCARY I WILL ADMIT.


SECOND TRIP WAS FROM MY HOUSE DOWNTOWN WHICH WAS 2.5 TIMES THE DISTANCE OF THE FIRST TRIP BOTH WAYS... I HAD FUN AND HAVE TO ADMIT I WANT A BIKE...


BUT hmmm THE JURY IS STILL OUT

LETTERS FROM THE SOL: I CRIED

***I KNOW THAT I'VE HAD A LOT OF LETTERS FROM THE SOL LATELY BUT THATS JUST BEEN HOW ITS BEEN, CALL ME A COWARD FOR NOT TELLIN THESE PEOPLE TO THEIR FACE BUT THIS WAY IS JUST EASIER***


DEAR,


I CRIED INSIDE MYSELF, AS SOON AS I HEARD YOUR VOICE. I DID A GOOD JOB OF NOT DOING IT THE WHOLE TIME WE TALKED..... I KNEW SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT. I COULD SENSE IT.


AND AS THE CONVERSATION WENT ON YOUR WORDS WERE DROWNED OUT BY THE STORM INSIDE ME AND I LOST MY VOICE.


YEAH I KNOW THAT I WAS TOO CONTENT TO GET OFF THE PHONE.... AND AS SOON AS I DID THEY BEGAN TO FALL INSIDE OUT. IT JUST HURT WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY.

ANOTHER SET OF BROKEN EXPECTATIONS AND PROMISES.... AND A FEW MORE TEARS FELL


AND NO MATTER HOW TIGHT I GRIPPED MY BLANKET OR BURRIED MY FACE IN MY PILLOW IT DIDN'T HELP.


AND AS I FELL ASLEEP TO THE SOUND OF TEARS HITTING MY PILLOW I CRIED IN MY DREAMS....


WHEN I WOKE UP I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN JUST A BAD DREAM.... THEN I SAT DOWN TO LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC AND THOUGHT......


I CRIED.....

I CRIED OVER YOU......

I DON'T KNOW WHY I EXPECTED MORE BUT I CRIED.....

AND I PUT MY MASK BACK ON AND SIMPLY VOWED TO NEVER SAY AGAIN THAT I CRIED....


SO THANK YOU..... BECAUSE I OFFICIALLY DON'T BELIEVE ANYMORE.... EVER SINCE I CRIED


A.MARIE

SOL FOOD 01:12:09

PEOPLE DO BACK HANDED SHIT.... BUT IN THE MIDST OF IT STAY TRUE TO YOU

REFLECTIONZ: rookie

OMG SO RIGHT NOW IM LISTENING TO "BOTTLE POPPIN" (YUNG JOC AND GORRILLA ZOE) AND I JUST HAD THE WORLDS GREATEST FLASH BACK...


SOOOOOO A WHILE BACK I WAS WORKING IN AN AFTER PARTY AT A CLCUB AND MET rookie. HE WAS REALLY LEARY TO TELL ME WHAT HE DID BUT JUDGING FROM THE PEOPLE HE WAS CHILLEN WITH IN THE CLUB THAT NIGHT I KNEW HE WAS AN ATHLETE OR IN THE ENTOURAGE.... (TURNED OUT TO BE AN ATHLETE BY THE WAY)



ANYWAYS WHEN I WAS ON MY WAY TO MY CAR HE CAUGHT UP WITH ME AND GOT MY NUMBER. WE TEXTED AND TALKED FOR A FEW DAYS.... AND DECIDED THAT WE WOULD HANG OUT ONE DAY.


THAT DAY JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE ONE OF MY HOLY GRAIL DAYS... OPENING DAY OF THE LOS ANGELES LAKER SEASON.


NORMALLY I WOULD HAVE RESCHEDULED AND JUST CAUGHT UP WITH HIM LATER BUT HE OFFERED TO WATCH THE GAME WITH ME AT HIS HOUSE. TURNED OUT TO BE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.... CONSIDERING HIS PLASMA 50 SOMETHING INCH FLAT SCREEN THAT WITH HD THAT WE WATCHED IT ON.


NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS IN HEAVEN....


WHY DID THE SONG REMIND ME OF HIM??? WELL WHEN I WATCH LAKER BASKETBALL I HATE PEOPLE WHO TALK OR WHO INTERUPT MY CONCENTRATION ESPECIALLY ON OPENING DAY.... WELL THIS IDIOT DECIDED TO DO THE FIRST FEW LINES OF GORRILLA ZOE'S PART RIGHT IN MY EAR AS I WAS WATCHING THE GAME...


THE LOOK THAT I SHOT HIM WAS DEATH TIMES ABOUT 70K AND HE JUST SCOTTED OVER AND LET ME GO BACK TO THE GAME...


(OH AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WONDERING YES THERE WAS SOME MAKING OUT AND FONDLING THAT WENT ON DURRING HALF TIME AND AFTER THE GAME)


I LOST TOUCH WITH rookie (AT ONE POINT HE HAD A GIRL BUT SOME OF MY INSIDE SOURCES TOLD ME THAT HE ACTUALLY STARTED MESSING AROUND WITH THIS CHIK I USED TO KICK IT WITH) BUT HE WAS FAIRLY CUTE AND I HAVE TO ADMIT ONE SEXY ASS REFECTION TO END MY DAY AT WORK ON.

I HEART: MY BUDDZ

I MISS YOU buddz!!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! T.R.A.P. ENT BITCHZ

RANDOM THOUGHT

I HATE DUSTY SNAILS (DIRECT TRANSLATION BITCHEZ). ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO BE ONE MYSPACE LIKE THEIR AMERICA'S NEXT PORN STAR OR VIDEO BITCH AND THEY HAVE BARELY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.

GET A CLUE A BETTER WARDROBE AND JUST SOME COMMON SENSE

CALI LUV: LA JOLLA COVE/SHORES

SO THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THAT I HAVE NO DESIRE TO LEAVE SO CAL.... ITS MY LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN AND SANITY. SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN GO TO GET AWAY AND THINK ABOUT WHAT I REALLY WANT AND NEED.


I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A WATER CHILD AND THE BEACH IS WHERE I CAN CRY, LAUGH, AND JUST STARE INTO THE DISTANCE TILL I HEAR WHATEVER IT IS I NEED TO GO TO THAT NEXT PLACE/PHASE. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IT WILL REMAIN MY HIDE AWAY.


AND OH YEAH IF YOU SEE ME OUT AT THE COVE OR SHORES ITS THE ONE TIME IM ASKING PEOPLE TO JUST KINDA LEAVE ME BE.... SORRY... DOESN'T MEAN I LOVE YOU LESS ITS JUST MY PLACE

LETTERS FROM THE SOL: TOO MUCH?

DEAR


IM SITTING HERE A FEW DAYS AFTER YOU JUST STOPPED ACTING LIKE I EXISTED AND IM STILL SOOOO CONFUSED.... SEE EVERYTHING WAS GREAT TILL I GAVE INTO MYSELF... I WAS JUST BEING ME... AND SO FUCKIN WHAT I LIKE TO KISS...


RIGHT?


SEE IM SOOOOO FUCKIN PISSED FROM THREE WAYS FROM THIS ENIGMA ITS STARTING TO EAT AT ME.

1. I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER AND NOT EVEN SUCOMB TO TELLING YOU THAT I WAS INTO YOU.... DON'T BE YOURSELF PLAY IT COOL AND STICK TO YOUR EGO... DON'T BE ATTAINABLE UNTIL ITS HOOK LINE AND SINKER. WHY GIVE YOURSELF AWAY KNOWINGLY OR NOT BECAUSE IT KILLS THE CHASE AND OPENS YOURSELF UP TO HURTS THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T READY FOR AND DONT WANT.
2. YOU ARE SOOOO OMG... YOU INSISTED THAT I BE HONEST WHY WOULD YOU WANT MY HONESTY AND WANT ME TO NOT HOLD BACK ONLY TO SIT ON YOUR PHONE AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH IT TURNED YOU OFF??? MAKE UP YOUR MIND I'M NOT A YO YO.... OR ANY OBJECT FOR THAT MATTER IM A FUCKING PERSON THAT HAS FEELINGS.... YOURE NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS BEEN HURT AND IF YOU HATED BEING FUCKED UP SO MUCH WHY FUCK WITH ME???? IF YOU DON'T WANT AFFECTION WHY FUCKING LAY NEXT TO ME YOU SHOULDA JUST KEPT YOUR DISTANCE UNTIL YOU UNPOLARIZED YOURSELF... I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING AND NOW IM WONDERING IF I WENT CRAZY LIKE A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM AND JUST NEED TO WAKE UP.
3. THE SITUATION JUST DOESN'T MAKE SINCE CUZ OF THE UNKOWN AND THAT THING I SWEAR I KEEP SEEING IN THE DARK THAT I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO SEE.

LIKE A DOG CHASING HIS TAIL WHO CATCHES IT I DONT KNOW WHAT EMOTION TO FEEL. ms counting WOULD JUS SAY FUCK IT AND MOVE ON TO NOT JUST THE NEXT BUT TO PROBABLY SOMEONE SPECIFIC ENOUGH TO IRRITATE. THEN A TRUE phoenix WOULD RISE ABOVE ALL OF THE CRAP AND LEARN FROM IT, FIX IT, AND LET HIM CHOOSE. v SAYS JUST WANTS TO BURRY MYSELF IN MY WORK AND BE UNATTAINABLE PERMANTLY. THEN THERE'S THE PERSON WHO JUST WANTS TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER AND GO AWAY AND START OVER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU.... EXCEPT IM SORRY IF I DID TOOO MUCH THATS JUST PART OF ME... IF YOU GET ME COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO ADMIT PART OF THAT 75% OF THINGS THAT I DON'T SPEAK WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT ACTION BEHIND IT?

AND LISTENING TO YOU TALK ABOUT HOW TURNED OFF YOU ARE TO SOMEONE ON YOUR LAME PHONE AND YOU HADN'T SPOKEN TWO WORDS TO ME ALL DAY MADE ME WISH I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF YOU.

I THOUGHT ABOUT MY STUPOR AND KNOW THAT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TOO STUPID AND KNOW THAT IN SOBERIETY I DIDN'T EITHER... BUT STILL APPARRENTLY IT WAS JUST

TOO MUCH.....

AND AS TOO MUCH AS ALL THIS IS FOR ME BECAUSE ITS TOO STUPID I STILL WANT TO AT LEAST PUT IT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN...

TOO MUCH,

ANJL

RANDOM THOUGHT

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CHARLI BALTIMORE???

I MEAN SHE WAS 20 THOUSAND TIMES A HARDER CHIK THAN ASHANTI AND IS THE INFLUENCE BEHIND MY RED HAIR FETISH???

ADDICTED: M A C HELLO KITTY COLLECTION

I WAS ON MY GIRL laa laa's BLOG (http://laalaaonline.blogspot.com/) AND SAW HER POST ABOUT THE NEW HELLO KITTY INSPIRED COLLECTION FROM M A C AND INSTANTLY BECAME ADDICTED...

LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE SHOPPING THIS WEEKEND AFTER ALL!!!

SOL FOOD 01:06:09

SHOW APPRECIATION TO SOMEONE TODAY


I WANT TO WELCOME MY NEW FOLLOWERS!!!!

AND THANK MY LOYAL ONES!!!

RANDOM THOUGHT

I WAS LOOKING FOR A NEW PHOTO FOR HERE AND CAME ACROSS THIS PICTURE AND I REALLY HAD TO LAUGH....

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND A REALLY CUTE PICTURE AND WANTED TO PUT IT UP BUT KNEW THAT AS SOON AS YOU DID IT WAS GOING TO START A LOT OF DRAMA???? I PROMISE I WOULD BUT THIS WOULD START SOOO MUCH DRAMA

BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT THAT WE STILL LOOK CUTE

SHOE CRUSH: CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN

OK YOU BUYS KNOW THAT THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOE DESIGNERS OF ALLL TIME.... SERIOUSLY I LOVE HIS SHOES.

Arielle a Talon Ankle Boots

$885

SAKS FIFTH AVE

RIHANNA FT. CHRIS BROWN: BAD GIRL

I WAS ON iluvlola (ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE BLOGS) AND SAW THIS POST ABOUT THE NEW RIHANNA TRACK FEATURING HER BOO CHRISS BROWN.

I MEAN I LIKE IT JUST NOT WITH THE BEAT THAT THEY HAVE WITH IT FOR SOME REASON.... PLUS CHRIS'S PART IN IT SOUNDS KINDA WEAK.... BUT LIKE LOLA I'M POSTING IT EXCEPT I AM BECAUSE ITS FROM ONE OF MY STYLE ICONS RIHANNA

CLICK THE LINK TO LISTEN

http://dl059.zshare.net/stream/b0a222d5be28a2c2f79720719122df50/1231294136/53737786/ICEDOTCOM%20-%20Rihanna%20ft%20Chris%20Brown%20-%20Bad%20Girl.mp3

MISADVENTURES: DRINKING

SOOO IM SURE YOU ALL ARE WONDERING WATS UP WITH THE NEW TO 10 I HAVE UP ( SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY BLOG)


WELL YEAH YOUR GIRL GOT STRAIGHT FUCKED UP SATURDAY NIGHT AT the shark club IN THE OC. I MEAN IT WAS REALLY EMABARRASSING AND GROSS.


MY GIRLS AND I GOT PULLED INTO THE VIP BY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A POTENTIAL CLIENT. I FORGOT THAT I HADN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE LIKE 230 THAT AFTERNOON AND WAS DRINKING LIKE IT WAS THE THING TO DO. MOET, CRAN AND VODKA, LONG ISLAND, PATRON, YEAH IT WAS SOOO BAD.


I ENDED UP PUKING IN THE BATHROOM AND OUTSIDE... I KNOW I SAID SOME EMBARASSING SHIT TOO.... (SOO MUCH SO THAT I BLEW MY CHANCE WITH THIS GUY I MET UP THERE solo AMD PISSED carrie OFF)


THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP AT 830 FOR SOME WEIRD REASON AND JUST WENT FOR A WALK TO CLEAR MY HEAD AND REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT I HAD JUST DONE. I HAD BLOWN A POTENTIAL CLIENT, MADE MYSELF SICK, MADE A STRAIGHT ASS OUTTA MYSELF, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY I HAD TOTALLY TAKEN 10 STEPS PACK FROM ALL THE PROGRESS AND CHANGE THAT I HAD MADE IN 2008.


I ALREADY HAD THE PUNCH DRUNK EXPERIENCE AT THE END OF MAY 2008 AND IT WAS DISGUSTING. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER IT, MORE OVER I THOUGHT THAT I KNEW BETTER THAN TO GET THAT FADED ON A WEEKEND WERE I HAD A LOT OF REGAL THINGS GOING ON. IT REALLY JUST MADE ME THINK ABOUT WHY I WANTED TO DO SO MUCH WITH MY LIFE.... AND ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO DO IN 2009.


IT JUST SHOWED ME HOW DILLEGENT I NEED TO BE IN STICKING TO MY DREAMS, GOALS, LIFE, AND PROGRESS.

SOL VIEW: HAVOK AND MAYHEM @ HEAT ULTRA LOUNGE

WHO: HAVOK & MAYHEM

WHERE: HEAT ULTRA LOUNGE(ANAHIEM, CA)

WHEN: FRIDAY,JANUARY 2, 2009

ATMOSPHERE: URBAN UPSCALE

THE GOOD:

HONESTLY THE BEST PART OF THE NIGHT WAS THE PARTY BUS RIDE ON THE WAY TO THE CLUB (LAKE FOREST TO IRVINE TO ANAHIEM). BOTTLES GALORE AND 40 PEOPLE ON THE BUS WAS CRAZY. WE DRANK AND PARTYED SOOOO MUCH. IT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO START THE NIGHT.

"IT WAS RESPONISBLE SINCE I KNEW WE WERE GOING TO DRINK PLUS I WANTED TO GO ALL OUT FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND REALLY LET MY FRIENDS HAVE A GOOD TIME."- JONATHON "HAVOK" WOODS

NOT EVEN OVER EXAGERRATING OR PUTTING DUBBS ON ANYTHING.... THAT BUS RIDE WAS SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUTTA A BET MUSIC VIDEO. AT ONE POINT YOU JUST SAW NOTHING BUT GIRLS DANCING AROUND WOODS AND THEN ANOTHER POINT YOU SEE HIM IN THE BACK WITH A BOTTLE GROVIN TO THE MUSIC AND ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE CROWD PARTING TO SHOW HIM AT THE BACK JUST LIVIN IT UP LIKE A TRUE BOSS

TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES IN A MOVING VEHICLE THATS CROWDED IS CRAZY BUT I GOT A LOT OF GREAT SHOTS AND EVEN GOT TO SHOWCASE SOME OF MY STRIPPER SKILLS BOUNCING FROM HAND RAIL TO HAND RAIL.

THE BAD:

NOW ME PERSONALLY IM A HIP HOP GIRL.... SO IT WAS WEIRD TO HERE A LOT OF MASH UPS IN THE CLUB AND A LOT OF POP BUT... IT STILL WAS PRETTY CHILL. EVEN THO WORKING THE CAMERA ALL NIGHT I DIDN'T GET TO DANCE BASICALLY AT ALL.

(I KNOW THAT'S A KINDA LAME BAD BUT SERIOUSLY THATS THE ONLY BAD THING THAT I CAN SAY)

THE UGLY:

THERE WAS SOOOO MUCH PARTYING AND DRINKING GOING ON THAT I HAD TO SAVE MY CAMERA AND DRESS ABOUT 15,000 TIMES IT FELT LIKE. BETWEEN SOMEONE SWATTING IT DOWN ONTO A MARBLE SERVICE ON ACCIDENT GIVING ME A HUG, PEOPLE GRABBING AT IT, AND PEOPLE ALMOST SPILLING DRINKS ON IT... OMG AT ONE POINT IT WAS SO CRAZY I HAD TO JUST GO WOOOO SAAAA.

WHICH WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT REALLY ISN'T THAT BAD BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT A LOT WAS GOING ON AND A LOT OF PEOPOLE WERE HAVING FUN IT JUST MAKES FOR A VERY STRESSFUL EVENING FOR A PHOTAG.

WHAT TO KNOW:

THIS EVENT WAS THE FIRST BREAK OUT EVENT FOR HAVOK AND MAYHEM PRODUCIONS IN THE ORANGE COUNTY AREA. MOSTLY BASED IN HOLLYWOOD IT WAS A PERSONAL TRIUMPH FOR THE YOUNG COMPANY TO HAVE NOT ONLY A SELL OUT NIGHT BUT ONE THAT KEPT EVERY CLUB GOER AND CLUB MANAGMENT WANTING

MORE.

ALSO MAKING AN APPERANCE THAT NIGHT WAS PORN STAR ADRENALINE WHO I KNOW FOR A FACT HAD MORE THAN A FEW GUYS BLOOD BOILING OVER THAT NIGHT. ( ALSO ON A TOTAL SIDE NOTE I JUST NEED TO SAY THAT THIS CHICK WAS HELLA CHILL AND FUN SERIOUSLY.... SHE WASN'T STUCK UP SHE HUNG OUT IN VIP WITH EVERYONE AND ACTUALLY HAD FUN NOT JUST MADE AN APPERANCE AND WENT HOME OR TO ANOTHER CLUB)

MY TAKE:

BEING IN THE INDUSTRY FOR THREE YEARS NOW IM VERY CONSCIOUS OF STEPPING INTO NOT ONLY A NEW SCENE BUT GOING IN WITH A NEW GROUP. HAVOK AND MAYHEM IM ALREADY CALLING THE RISING COMPANY OF 2009 SIMPLY FOR THE EXICUTION OF FRIDAY NIGHT.

EVERY ASPECT OF WHAT WAS DONE WAS BEYOND WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT FROM A NEW COMPANY. THERE WASN'T JUST A RED CARPET AND PHOTO OPP AS YOU WALKED IN THERE ALSO WAS SOMEONE THERE TO INTERVIEW YOU AFTER YOU WALKED THE CARPET. YOU DIDN'T JUST HAVE A VIP AREA YOU HAD ONE SECTION THAT WAS GLASS ROOM AND THREE OTHER RAISED VIP BOOTHS. THE GOGO DANCERS WERE ANYTHING BUT AVERAGE IN SKILL AND BEAUTY ( A PERSONAL PET PEEVE OF MINE WHEN IM IN CERTAIN CLUBS).

PEOPLE WEREN'T JUST SAYING THAT THET WERE HAVING FUN TO BE POLITE OR OUTTA BEING DRUNK IT SHOWED FROM JUMP TO FINISH IN MORE THAN WORDS FROM PEOPLES LIPS.

BOTTOM LINE:

ITS GOING TO BE A TOUGH EVENT FOR ANYONE TO TOP IN MY BOOK... PROFESSIONAL, CLASSY, SEXY, AND FUN AS FUCK. HATS OFF TO THE WHOLE HAVOK AND MAYHEM STAFF AND ESPECIALLY TO THE MAN OF THE HOUR JONATHON "HAVOK" WOODS.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON HAVOK AND MAYHEM OR TO PLAN YOUR NEXT EVENT WITH THEM VISIT THERE WEBSITE: http://www.havokandmayhem.com/

OR EMAIL DIRECTLY AT: woods@havokandmayhem.com

NEW YEARS EVE ALL WHITE PARTY

OK SO I PROMISED THAT AFTER I GOT THRU THE WEEKEND THAT I WOULD TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE ALL WHITE PARTY I WENT TO FOR NEW YEARS.


HONESTLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IT WAS CHILL BUT NOT MY IDEAL WAY TO BRING IN THE NEW YEAR. ALL OF MY GIRLS WERE IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS SO IT WAS JUST ME BY MYSELF AT MY EVENT.

THE MUSIC WAS PRETTY GOOD.... IT HAD ITS LOWS FOR SURE AND THEY PLAYED THAT DAMNED LOLLIPOP SONG (SORRY IM JUST OVER IT TOP SONG OF 2008 OR NOT). BUT ALL IN ALL IT REALLY JUST FELT LIKE A NORMAL NIGHT AT THE CLUB


I SHOWCASED THE NEW LOOK, JET BLACK HAIR WITH THE BLONDE AND RED PANNELS GOING THRU IT. AND MY DRESS LOOKED CUTE VERY VP3, WHITE STRAPPLESS WITH CROSSING PANNELS IN TH FRONT AND ROUCHED AT THE BOTTOM.


THERE WERE SOME PRETTY STYLISH PEOPLE THERE THAT NIGHT ONE WAS FOR SURE KIETH AND ROB FROM STAR-DOM AND THEN THESE TWO RANDOM GUYS IN BLACK RED AND WHITE. BUT NOTHING THAT MADE ME REALLY WANT TO STARE AND TAKE NOTE


OVER ALL I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS WITH THE VENUE NOT WANTING TO LET THE COMPANY TAKE LEAD ON THE PLANNING EFFORTS BUT I STILL DON'T THINK THAT IT SHOULD HAVE IMPACTED THE ATTENDANCE AS MUCH AS IT DID. SORRY THAT'S JUST HOW I FEEL

SOL FOOD 01:05:09

MAKING PROGRESS ISN'T SOMETHING YOU DO TO PASS TIME...


IF YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO KEEP THAT CHANGE GOING AND NOT DIGRESS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOODS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOODS!!!! SO RIGHT NOW IM IN THE OC PREPIN FOR WOOD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!! IM WITH MY REGAL CHIK$ IN THE OC JU$ BREAKEM AND $O WOW. OFFICIAL SHAWTZ BY ANJL EVENT. GET AT ME FOR MORE INFO.

SOL FOOD 01:02:09

EXPAND YOURSELF BEYOND YOUR NORMAL BOUNDARIES.... STOP BEING SCARED

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!

OK SO I KNOW THAT I'M A LITTLE LATE ON THIS ONE BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL READEARS!!


IN CASE YOUR WONDERING I BROUGHT IN THE NEW YEAR WITH THE STAR-DOM FAM. THE EVENT REVIEW WILL GO UP LATE NEXT WEEK (NOT THAT THERE'S MUCH TO SAY BUT OK). SHOW CASED THE NEW STYLE JET BLACK WITH BLONDE AND RED PANNELS ON THE SIDES AND HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF FUN.


BUT YUP YUP THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW YEAR I SPENT IN BED AND CLEANING SO DON'T TRIP NOTHING INTERESTING THERE.


THE OFFICIAL THEME FOR THE YEAR IS vp3 (VIXEN:PHOENIX:TRIPPLE THREAT)


THIS YEAR IM ALL ABOUT MY HUSTLE AND MY GRIND AND MY WORK. VIXEN IS THE EGO THAT 'S BRINGING THE HEAT AS A MODEL. PHOENIX IS THE PHOTOGRAPHER CUZ IM BACK SNITCHEZ! AND TRIPPLE THREAT MASTERMIND (T3M) IS THE PROMOTER/WRITER/BUISNESS WOMAN.



THIS YEAR IM ALL ABOUT THE TOTAL PERSON SO GET WIH IT OR GET GONE.


MADD LUV TO YOU ALL

~**LIVE HUSTLE DREAM**~