Wednesday, December 31, 2008

LETTERS FROM THE SOL: I KNOW IM NOT PERFECT

DEAR


I STILL CRAVE TOUCH, KISSES, AND BEING TURNED OUT BUT I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN MONTHS.....


I STILL NOT TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT I'M BEAUTIFUL.... BUT I KNOW THAT I'M NOT JUST A TOY AND THAT I'M SOMEHTING TO BE TREASURED EVEN IF ALL YEAR IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE HAVE JUST THROWN ME AWAY.


I PROMISED THAT I WOULD NEVER LET HOW I FEEL GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT WAS IMPORTANT WITH him BUT THE FUNNY THING IS THAT THAT WAS WHAT IMPORTANT.... THAT DESPITE EVERYTHING I LOVED him AS A FRIEND AND AS A LOVER..... AND NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE I CAN LOVE MYSELF


EVEN THOUGH I ONLY WROTE ONE WHOLE SONG THIS YEAR AND I ACCIDENTLY MISSPLACED IT..... I'M THANKFUL CUZ I KNOW THAT I CAN STIL WRITE AND I FOUND MY VOICE AGAIN


NOT GONNA GRADUATE THIS YEAR WITH THE REST OF MY CLASS.... BUT IM DRIVEN TO FINISH SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND WON'T REGRET THE DAY I SIGN UP FOR CLASSES


I KNOW THAT I DON'T TALK TO YOU AS MUCH AS YOU WANT ME TOO AND THAT YOU AND I DON'T SEEE EYE TO EYE AND I HAVEN'T BEEN MUCH OF THE PERSON YOU CREATED ME TO BE..... BUT I FINALLY DON'T FEEL WORTHLESS BECAUSE YOU SHOWED ME THROUGH ALL THE PAIN THIS YEAR THAT THERE REALLY WAS SOMEHTING SPECIAL


IVE LOST A LOT OF FRIENDS THIS YEAR..... SOME PEOPLE THAT I GAVE SECOND CANCES TO, OTHERS WHO I'M SHOCKED I LOST, AND THEN SOME THAT I JUST NEEDED TO BE DONE WITH.... THEN THERE'S THIS FRIEND, THIS HERO THAT I HONESTLY WOULDN'T TRADE FOR ANYTHING


MY BABY IS SICK AND I CAN'T JUST GET UP AND GO WITH THE WIND IN MY FACE AND MUSIC IN MY EARS.... BUT IM STILL MOVIN FORWARD


I MIGHT NOT BE BETTER YET BUT AT LEAST IM AT A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND TRYING TO NOT JUST MAKE THE BEST OF THINGS BUT TRULY LIVE INSPITE AND DESPITE IT


NO IM NOT THIS BIG TIME PHOTGRAPHER WITH FANCY EQIPMENT BUT JENNY SUE YOU HAVE BEEN SO FAITHFUL THAT I CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE YOU AND AM STARTING TO GET SAD AT THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU.


I KNOW THAT IM NOT PERFECT BUT.... THIS JOURNEY THAT IM ON HAS BEEN THE BEST THING I COULD EVER ASK FOR AND I'M SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY CHANGE AND THAT ONE DAY I'LL BE A LITTLE CLOSER TO PERFECTION

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