OK SO WITH THE WHOLE REDEDICATION AND REBIRTH THING THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON WITH ME I DECIDED THAT IT WAS TIME FOR A STYLE CHANGE....
IM MUCH MORE EDGY RIGHT NOW AND TO GO WITH THAT WHOLE EDGY VIBE I DECIDED THAT I WAS GOING TO CUT MY HAIR.... AGIAN.
AT THE END OF AUGUST I HAD CUT MY HAIR INTO A LONGER VERSION OF RHIANNA'S CUT IN "TAKE A BOW" CUZ I WAS UNDECIDED IF I WANTED IT TO BE SUPERSHORT OR NOT..... WELL AFTER NOT BEING ABLE TOWHERE THE CUT FROM MY HAIR BEING TOOO CURLY I BROKE WEDNESDAY AND ASKED MY SISTER bubblez TO CUT IT AND STRAIGHTEN IT.
THE END RESULT IS TRULY PHENOMINAL... HONESTLY IT IS A TRUE VERSION OF THE "TALKE A BOW" CUT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE ME NOT JUST LIKE A KNOCK OF VERSION OF RHIANNA. I LOVE IT!!!!!!! FURTHERMORE I HAVE BEEN GETTING GREAT RESPONSES FROM THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEEN IT.
TOMORROW I WILL BE GETTING SOME EDGY HIGHLIGHTS TO GO WITH THE NEW LOOK... I LOVE RHIANNA'S STYLE BUT... THIS IS MY LIFE NOT HERS. I WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON.
SOOO WHEN THE LOOK IS FINALIZED I WILL PUT PICTURES UP!!!!! TILL SATURDAY.... STAY TUNNED AND STAY FRESH!!!
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it gong forth in repetition we spread this Anjlik Sol.....
Showing posts with label REBIRTH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label REBIRTH. Show all posts
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
COWARD
SO I HEARD FROM COWARD YESTERDAY.... AMAZINGLY ENOUGH IT WAS AS MUCH LIBERATING AS IT WAS AMUSING... AND EVEN MORE SO CHECKED THE FLARE.
SENDING OTHER PEOPLE TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO DO FACE THEM YOURSELVES.... OR IS IT HIS OWN SCREW UP, DEMON, AND KNOWING YOU WERE WRONG. ITS PATHETIC... AND HUMOROUS ALL IN THE SAME BREATH. I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT REALLY GAVE ME PLEASURE TO WATCH HIS SNAIL ATTEMPT TO HOLD HER GROUND. EVEN MORE HILARIOUS WAS WHEN SHE GOT SO MAD AT THE THOUGHT THAT I WOULD MAKE HIM OWN UP TO HER ACTIONS FOR HIMSELF.....
AGAIN THE ONLY TWO WORDS THAT I CAN SAY ARE PATHETIC AND HILARIOUS.
COWARD ONLY STUTTERED AND FUMBLED TO CONVEY WHAT I DID SO SMOOTHLY. CONFLICTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UNNERVING BUT FOR THE OTHER PARTY NOT FOR YOURSELF STUPID. IT TRULY TOOK AS MUCH POWER NOT TO LAUGH AS IT DID NOT TO JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF...
AND AS MUCH AS I'M SURE BOTH OF THEM WERE HOPING THAT THE LITTLE VOICE INSIDE THAT WANTED TO FLARE AND VERBALLY TEAR THEM BOTH LIMB FROM LIMB WAS GOING TO COME OUT IT WOULD OVER POWER MY HEAVENLY JUDGEMENT BUT IT WAS IN A SOUND PROOF BOX THAT ONLY HAD CLOSED CAPTIONING. LUCKY FOR THEM THO... I HIGHLY DOUBT A SNAIL COULD MATCH A COBRA OR A COWARD FACE A TIGER.
AND CONTROLLING THE CONVERSATION WAS BETTER THAN DARK CHOCOLATE AFTER SEX MEDIUM RARE SEX. I WAS CALM AND HE WAS OFF GUARD. YOU SEE COWARDS DON'T LIKE WHEN THEIR PROTECTORS MAKE THEM FACE THEIR PROBLEMS. AND SNAILS ARE TOO SLOW MINDED TO TO UNDERSTAND I HAD BEAT HER BY CALLING AND NOT LYING DOWN IN HER SLIME.
AFTER THE CALL WAS DONE I COULD FEEL MYSELF START TO BOIL OVER AND LOSE CONTROL... AND BECOME HELL BENT.... BUT SOMETHING IN ME SMILED AND SPOKE THAT HADN'T IN MANY MANY CORNSTALKS.
"CONTINUE DOWN THE PATH MORE DILIGENTLY THAN EVER AND WATCH THEM FALL INTO THEIR OWN FECAL MATTER AND REGRET." IT WAS SUCH A SOFT WHISPER THAT IT WAS ALMOST LOST IN THE FLASHES OFF AN APPEARANCE. "WAIT... SIMPLY WAIT.... THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU CAN DO MORE DAMAGE THAN GOD SO WAIT."
AS COMFORTED BY THAT AS I WAS I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL MYSELF CHANGING... LIKE I SAID MANY CORNSTALKS HAD IT BEEN SINCE I HAD BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THAT SIDE OF ME.... THE CALM WAS OVERWHELMING... CLEARING IN THE MOST MIND BLOWING WAY.... AND IN THE QUIETEST POINT OF THE CALM I COULD FEEL AND HEAR TOO WELL. OBVIOUSLY I HAD DIED YET AGAIN AND WAS BEING REBORN BUT THIS SIDE WAS STRONG NOW.... AND RISING AT THIS POINT WILL BE EITHER THE GREATEST HELP TO MY ULTIMATE GOAL OR THE NUCLEUS FOR MANY.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it going
SENDING OTHER PEOPLE TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO DO FACE THEM YOURSELVES.... OR IS IT HIS OWN SCREW UP, DEMON, AND KNOWING YOU WERE WRONG. ITS PATHETIC... AND HUMOROUS ALL IN THE SAME BREATH. I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT REALLY GAVE ME PLEASURE TO WATCH HIS SNAIL ATTEMPT TO HOLD HER GROUND. EVEN MORE HILARIOUS WAS WHEN SHE GOT SO MAD AT THE THOUGHT THAT I WOULD MAKE HIM OWN UP TO HER ACTIONS FOR HIMSELF.....
AGAIN THE ONLY TWO WORDS THAT I CAN SAY ARE PATHETIC AND HILARIOUS.
COWARD ONLY STUTTERED AND FUMBLED TO CONVEY WHAT I DID SO SMOOTHLY. CONFLICTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UNNERVING BUT FOR THE OTHER PARTY NOT FOR YOURSELF STUPID. IT TRULY TOOK AS MUCH POWER NOT TO LAUGH AS IT DID NOT TO JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF...
AND AS MUCH AS I'M SURE BOTH OF THEM WERE HOPING THAT THE LITTLE VOICE INSIDE THAT WANTED TO FLARE AND VERBALLY TEAR THEM BOTH LIMB FROM LIMB WAS GOING TO COME OUT IT WOULD OVER POWER MY HEAVENLY JUDGEMENT BUT IT WAS IN A SOUND PROOF BOX THAT ONLY HAD CLOSED CAPTIONING. LUCKY FOR THEM THO... I HIGHLY DOUBT A SNAIL COULD MATCH A COBRA OR A COWARD FACE A TIGER.
AND CONTROLLING THE CONVERSATION WAS BETTER THAN DARK CHOCOLATE AFTER SEX MEDIUM RARE SEX. I WAS CALM AND HE WAS OFF GUARD. YOU SEE COWARDS DON'T LIKE WHEN THEIR PROTECTORS MAKE THEM FACE THEIR PROBLEMS. AND SNAILS ARE TOO SLOW MINDED TO TO UNDERSTAND I HAD BEAT HER BY CALLING AND NOT LYING DOWN IN HER SLIME.
AFTER THE CALL WAS DONE I COULD FEEL MYSELF START TO BOIL OVER AND LOSE CONTROL... AND BECOME HELL BENT.... BUT SOMETHING IN ME SMILED AND SPOKE THAT HADN'T IN MANY MANY CORNSTALKS.
"CONTINUE DOWN THE PATH MORE DILIGENTLY THAN EVER AND WATCH THEM FALL INTO THEIR OWN FECAL MATTER AND REGRET." IT WAS SUCH A SOFT WHISPER THAT IT WAS ALMOST LOST IN THE FLASHES OFF AN APPEARANCE. "WAIT... SIMPLY WAIT.... THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU CAN DO MORE DAMAGE THAN GOD SO WAIT."
AS COMFORTED BY THAT AS I WAS I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL MYSELF CHANGING... LIKE I SAID MANY CORNSTALKS HAD IT BEEN SINCE I HAD BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THAT SIDE OF ME.... THE CALM WAS OVERWHELMING... CLEARING IN THE MOST MIND BLOWING WAY.... AND IN THE QUIETEST POINT OF THE CALM I COULD FEEL AND HEAR TOO WELL. OBVIOUSLY I HAD DIED YET AGAIN AND WAS BEING REBORN BUT THIS SIDE WAS STRONG NOW.... AND RISING AT THIS POINT WILL BE EITHER THE GREATEST HELP TO MY ULTIMATE GOAL OR THE NUCLEUS FOR MANY.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it going
Monday, September 29, 2008
SOL FOOD 3 9/29
BEFORE WE CAN BE FORGIVEN WE MUST ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. BEFORE WE CAN ACCEPT THE FORGIVENESS OF OTHERS WE MUST BE ABLE TO FORGIVE OURSELVES.
THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP I REALIZED THAT I DEMANDED FORGIVENESS FROM A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT I NEVER FORGAVE. PEOPLE WHO HURT ME IN WAYS THAT ONLY I KNEW AND WAS WILLING TO ADMIT WHEN I WAS AT MY DARKEST. IRONICALLY TO THESE SAME PEOPLE I WOULD SMILE AND CONTINUE TO JUST BE POLITE AND BE FRIENDLY, BUT INSIDE WOULD HARBOR ILL WILL BECAUSE I WAS STILL HURT. EVEN MORE SURPRISINGLY I WOULD GET MAD WHEN ANYONE WOULD THINK THAT I NEEDED TO BE APOLOGETIC OR CARE THAT I HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE ALL THAT I CARED ABOUT WAS MY HURT. BUT THIS MORNING I REALIZED THAT I WAS BEING HELD BACK BY MY UNFORGIVING HEART.
SO WHEN I LEFT THIS MORNING I SENT A FEW PEOPLE A TEXT... APOLOGIZING FOR ANY WAY THAT I HAD BEEN WRONG TO THEM IN THE PAST. A FEW WROTE BACK BUT MOST JUST LET IT BE ANOTHER TEXT IN THEIR INBOX.... BUT I STILL FELT SO FREE WALKING INTO WORK KNOWING THAT I HAD TAKEN THAT FIRST STEP.... THEN WALKING INTO THE DOOR I TOOK THE SECOND, AND JUST FORGAVE MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING AND FOCUSING ON WHAT IT IS THAT I NEED TO DO TO BE BETTER... CUZ THERE IS NO REASON WHY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I SHOULD BE WHERE I AM... I SHOULD BE HIGHER AND FURTHER....
AFTER ALL WHEN A PHOENIX IS REBORN ITS NOT SMALLER OR THE SAME SIZE BUT LARGER AND GRANDER THAN BEFORE.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it gong
THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP I REALIZED THAT I DEMANDED FORGIVENESS FROM A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT I NEVER FORGAVE. PEOPLE WHO HURT ME IN WAYS THAT ONLY I KNEW AND WAS WILLING TO ADMIT WHEN I WAS AT MY DARKEST. IRONICALLY TO THESE SAME PEOPLE I WOULD SMILE AND CONTINUE TO JUST BE POLITE AND BE FRIENDLY, BUT INSIDE WOULD HARBOR ILL WILL BECAUSE I WAS STILL HURT. EVEN MORE SURPRISINGLY I WOULD GET MAD WHEN ANYONE WOULD THINK THAT I NEEDED TO BE APOLOGETIC OR CARE THAT I HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE ALL THAT I CARED ABOUT WAS MY HURT. BUT THIS MORNING I REALIZED THAT I WAS BEING HELD BACK BY MY UNFORGIVING HEART.
SO WHEN I LEFT THIS MORNING I SENT A FEW PEOPLE A TEXT... APOLOGIZING FOR ANY WAY THAT I HAD BEEN WRONG TO THEM IN THE PAST. A FEW WROTE BACK BUT MOST JUST LET IT BE ANOTHER TEXT IN THEIR INBOX.... BUT I STILL FELT SO FREE WALKING INTO WORK KNOWING THAT I HAD TAKEN THAT FIRST STEP.... THEN WALKING INTO THE DOOR I TOOK THE SECOND, AND JUST FORGAVE MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING AND FOCUSING ON WHAT IT IS THAT I NEED TO DO TO BE BETTER... CUZ THERE IS NO REASON WHY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I SHOULD BE WHERE I AM... I SHOULD BE HIGHER AND FURTHER....
AFTER ALL WHEN A PHOENIX IS REBORN ITS NOT SMALLER OR THE SAME SIZE BUT LARGER AND GRANDER THAN BEFORE.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it gong
Friday, September 26, 2008
WHAT k GAVE ME
SO I WAS SENDING OUT PROMOTIONAL TEXTS TODAY FOR MY CLUB AND REALIZED SOMETHING... I HADN'T TALKED TO k SINCE COMING BACK HOME SUNDAY... AND REALLY HADN'T CARED WHETHER I HAD OR HADN'T. HE JUST DIDN'T EXIST ANYMORE.... NOT ONLY DID HE JUST NOW EXIST ANYMORE IT JUST STOPPED HURTING.
THE ONLY THING THAT I FEAR IS THAT IN THE PROCESS I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WANTING SOME ONE TO MAKE ME HAPPY OR BE WITH ME.... TO ME THERE REALLY IS JUST NO POINT... AND AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT I REALLY AM JUST TOOO BUSY AND TOO DRIVEN TO DO OTHER THINGS TO BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT HAVING SOMEONE ELSE AND REALLY BEING ABLE TO PUT THE TIME INTO AND ENJOY A RELATIONSHIP.
ITS FUNNY BECAUSE I WAS SOOOOO PISSED THAT ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER GUY HAD LET ME DOWN AND JUST DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME AND NOW I JUST WANT TO GO BACK AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL OF MY TALENTS AND GIFTS AND LIVE FULLY WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING ANYONE.
SOME OF YOU READING THIS MIGHT SAY THAT IT'S ME GIVING UP.... BUT I'M NOT I'M JUST REALIZING THAT AT THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE I NEED TO FINISH DEVELOPING MY INNER SELF AND MY GIFTS AS MUCH AS I CAN AND THAT EVENTUALLY MAYBE SOMEBODY WILL TAKE NOTE OF THAT AND THINK THAT IT IS SPECIAL ENOUGH TO PURSUE.
AND k IF YOU ARE READING THIS.... I REALLY DID PUT MY TRUST IN YOU AND WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A GOOD AND REAL PERSON. YOU LEAD ME OUT ON THE CLIFF SAYING TRUST YOU AND ITS OK AND THEN PUSHED ME OFF AND TURNED YOUR BACK.... YOU ASKED ME TO LIE TO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHEN WE BOTH KNEW IT WAS WRONG. YOU USED ME FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE AND GAIN AND HONESTLY I'M GLAD YOU GOT TO SEE HOW A REAL WOMAN TREATS A REAL MAN BUT EVEN HAPPIER THAT YOU NEVER FULLY GOT YOURS. EVEN MORE I REALIZED THAT YOU TURNED ME ON MYSELF ALL JUST FOR POINTLESSNESS AND FOOLISHNESS. BUT STILL I THANK YOU. I THANK YOU THAT YOU GAVE ME BACK ME BY DESTROYING ME. YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT SO I COULD REMEMBER THE THINGS THAT GAVE ME LIFE AND THAT DIDN'T REQUIRE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE FOR. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME BACK MY MUSIC, MY LOVE OF THE GAME, ME CREATIVE EYE, MY YEARNING FOR THE PERFECT SHOT, AND MOST OF ALL THAT SENSE THAT NOTHING CAN STOP ME AS LONG AS I STAY TRUE TO MYSELF.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it gong forth in repetition we spread this Anjlik Sol.....
THE ONLY THING THAT I FEAR IS THAT IN THE PROCESS I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WANTING SOME ONE TO MAKE ME HAPPY OR BE WITH ME.... TO ME THERE REALLY IS JUST NO POINT... AND AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT I REALLY AM JUST TOOO BUSY AND TOO DRIVEN TO DO OTHER THINGS TO BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT HAVING SOMEONE ELSE AND REALLY BEING ABLE TO PUT THE TIME INTO AND ENJOY A RELATIONSHIP.
ITS FUNNY BECAUSE I WAS SOOOOO PISSED THAT ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER GUY HAD LET ME DOWN AND JUST DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME AND NOW I JUST WANT TO GO BACK AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL OF MY TALENTS AND GIFTS AND LIVE FULLY WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING ANYONE.
SOME OF YOU READING THIS MIGHT SAY THAT IT'S ME GIVING UP.... BUT I'M NOT I'M JUST REALIZING THAT AT THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE I NEED TO FINISH DEVELOPING MY INNER SELF AND MY GIFTS AS MUCH AS I CAN AND THAT EVENTUALLY MAYBE SOMEBODY WILL TAKE NOTE OF THAT AND THINK THAT IT IS SPECIAL ENOUGH TO PURSUE.
AND k IF YOU ARE READING THIS.... I REALLY DID PUT MY TRUST IN YOU AND WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A GOOD AND REAL PERSON. YOU LEAD ME OUT ON THE CLIFF SAYING TRUST YOU AND ITS OK AND THEN PUSHED ME OFF AND TURNED YOUR BACK.... YOU ASKED ME TO LIE TO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHEN WE BOTH KNEW IT WAS WRONG. YOU USED ME FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE AND GAIN AND HONESTLY I'M GLAD YOU GOT TO SEE HOW A REAL WOMAN TREATS A REAL MAN BUT EVEN HAPPIER THAT YOU NEVER FULLY GOT YOURS. EVEN MORE I REALIZED THAT YOU TURNED ME ON MYSELF ALL JUST FOR POINTLESSNESS AND FOOLISHNESS. BUT STILL I THANK YOU. I THANK YOU THAT YOU GAVE ME BACK ME BY DESTROYING ME. YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT SO I COULD REMEMBER THE THINGS THAT GAVE ME LIFE AND THAT DIDN'T REQUIRE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE FOR. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME BACK MY MUSIC, MY LOVE OF THE GAME, ME CREATIVE EYE, MY YEARNING FOR THE PERFECT SHOT, AND MOST OF ALL THAT SENSE THAT NOTHING CAN STOP ME AS LONG AS I STAY TRUE TO MYSELF.
One mind one heart one voice one soul. One person speaks a word that plants an idea into another's soul that blooms into a beautiful concept and reality that is seen and spread throughout the world. And by one speaking another listening and sharing and by it gong forth in repetition we spread this Anjlik Sol.....
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